How many decisions can you name that you didn’t make because of fear? Because something was holding you back?
Because you were afraid to fail?
To find out it would not turn out how you expected it to be.
Fear is powerful.
Fear can have an enormous place in our lives. Yet, it never helps you to do the things you are meant to do. We have a purpose on this earth, and the ones who find it don’t let themselves become submissive to fear.
How to deal with fear?
I know, it’s so easy to say and so hard to put in practice.
And I’m just sharing this story because I found out lately that fear was holding me back from what I need to do. I had a huge fear for failing.
A fear for not being good enough.
A fear for people judging me…
Then I read about the power of fear.
And thought about it differently…
I reversed my thinking.
What if I don’t fail?
What if I am good enough?
And what if people like me because of who I am?
It becomes a totally different story, right? I need to constantly remind myself I got nothing to lose. Really, I can say that because of my faith.
This “what if”-method that I just showed you is so powerful! I’ve learned it at a workshop of Alvin Pilobello when we were talking about the art of crucial conversations.
It’s up to you. Do you want to live a life in fear or in boldness?
Fear related to creativity?
I think living a life without the holds of fear, is something we have to practice. We’re not used to it. We’re trained not to fail. Like we’re trained not to be creative. This is related by the way. Since I started to research the concept of creativity, and creativity itself, I can see more and more how this is a true and precious gift that we’ve been given. The past decades, however, we’ve done a great job to make ourselves unfamiliar with this characteristic everyone biologically has! Of course, I get it, for understandable reasons in an industrial age we thought it was unnecessary.
Dear reader, I’m not going to dive deeper into the topic of creativity. But I want to be clear on what kind of creativity I mean. Creativity as I’m talking about right now, I consider: “a combinatorial force: it’s our ability to tap into our ‘inner’ pool of resources – knowledge, insight, information, inspiration and all the fragments populating our minds – that we’ve accumulated over the years just by being present and alive and awake to the world and to combine them in extraordinary new ways.” — Maria Popova, Brainpickings.
It takes practice
That marvelous aspect of human beings (creativity) can’t be used to its full potential because of us being afraid to fail. Fear and failing go hand in hand. Have you ever come across someone who was happy to fail? Those are only people who understand the importance of failing and of creativity (they are the ones on the f*ck up nights, LOVE this concept) and know how to use it.
Read this: There’s nothing wrong with failing, but we’ve programmed our minds it is. And thus, people judge us by doing so. It’s a vicious circle. But, it is one we can get out of actually. Many approaches can be used. I’m sure there’s many to find on the internet. Today, I’m sharing a few that helped me. But I’m no expert on that topic. Keep that in mind.
All I’m calling you to do now is to not let fear stop you.
Think of what you haven’t done because of fear in your life.
Just think about it for a few minutes…
Fear is incredibly good at letting you come up with excuses like “yes, but I don’t have the money”, “yes, but I’m too old,” “yes, but I’m not sure this is what I want to do or are meant to do…”
Again, think of the what if-exercise.
If I, personally, had listened to fear I…
…wouldn’t be living in Toronto
…wouldn’t have written a novel
…wouldn’t have played the cajón in church (I didn’t even know how to play it!)
…wouldn’t have sang in front of people or played in a musical or tried to enter the film industry…
I’m not saying you should never listen to fear – fear can give you a good sense whether things you’re about to do are safe. That’s different fear. The fear I talk about, is the one that you shouldn’t give the permission of holding you back from the desire that has been put onto your heart. Our spirits are loving, thoughtful and powerful, not full of fear.
Rewire your thinking
So stand for what you want, what you desire. Take a leap. Dear to jump.
I know we are not wired for this kind of thinking because even when I’m writing this I’m thinking of you reading this blog while you go thinking “yes, but if things go wrong, what will happen…” (FEAR!) So, I feel you.
I’m pretty new to this as well. I can deal with fear 50% of the time. But at least, I’m dealing with it.
And you can do too!
Go for it.
Don’t let fear get in the way of where you want to go. Where you are destined of going.
A great example of someone who overcame fear
Don’t let fear determine your life path. Get to know Joze Piranian; a stuttering public speaker and comedian. A good one! How much fear do you think he had to overcome to get on that stage? Or to even start a conversation with people? So much, that he can actually coach people on it now. People find him inspiring… For a reason. Because he does something they don’t dare to do. He has something that they don’t master yet: the skill of neglecting fear.
Think of something that you haven’t done because of fear.
Work on it.
What if you did it and the results were exactly how you wanted it to be.
Or even better?
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